The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
