it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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