if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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