Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
