Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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