the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
