I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
