this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
