Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
