I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
