So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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