Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
