i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Drunk is not a location!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
