What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
