New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
