Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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