If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
