Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it's great music for shaving your balls
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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