didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
