Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
