3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
