her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
