Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
