She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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