Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
