I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
