Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
