Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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