dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
