I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
