omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
