it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize