How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
