it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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