i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
