i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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