I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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