There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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