Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When are your genitals available?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
