Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
