so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
