dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize