Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
