So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
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