Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
