Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
