HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
