how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
