Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
