shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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