I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
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