careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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