Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
