that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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