Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
