remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
