just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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