Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
